When am I grown up?

When I was in kindergarten, my definition of "grown up" was being in sixth grade. Then when I got to sixth grade, I thought that high-schoolers were grown up. Of course in high school, the college kids were the true adults in my mind. This leads me to the question...

When are we truly adults?

People my age are getting married, having kids, getting "real" jobs, buying houses... but is that what makes you an adult? By most standards, I probably am all grown up, but let's look at the evidence.

FOR being an adult:

* I have my own apartment, in NYC no less.
* I have credit cards, my own bank account, and I actually OWN furniture.
* I have a job that comes with a significant amount of reaponsibility and also gives me a health insurance.
* I do "adult" things like go to bars, have dinner parties, watch the news.
* I pay the adult fare for things like movies and museums.
* When I meet people they ask me if I'm married, or have kids.
* I can kill spiders by myself.



AGAINST being an adult:

* I have the sense of humor of a pubescent boy.
* I still get most of my clothes from stores like American Eagle, or the Gap.
* I cannot walk in high heels. Or medium heels. Sometimes I have problems walking in general.
* I don't make grocery lists. When I go to the grocery store I shop like a 6-year-old left alone. This means that I end up buying boxes of cereal for the toys and ice cream and things that are shiny and new and no nutritional value.
* I don't cook. I make things like scrambled eggs and spaghetti, but I rarely make things that require more than 3 steps.
* I get drunk. Not a lot, but I partake in what others might call "binge-drinking" on occasion.
* I do things I regret. A lot. For example, I might get into a beer fight that ends on the floor of a bar with a tall man on top of me.
* I sleep in. Sometimes past noon.
* I find little things amusing. I can stare at a frolicking squirrel for hours.
* I make lewd jokes and comments. "That's what she said" and "Your Mom" are a normal part of my vocabulary.
* The thought of getting married and/or having kids petrifies me.
* I do not plan my life more than 6 months in advance. I absolutely do not understand people who know what they'll be doing in 10 years.
* I love kidstuff, like board games and toy stores and bubbles.

So, what's the verdict? Am I an adult?

Embarrassment

I do not get embarrassed easily. When I read the Cosmo's Embarassing Stories, I laugh, usually because not only are the stories not actually embarrassing, but things like that happen to me on a daily basis. People who embarass easily obviously don't have much fun in life, because they are unable to let themselves go publically.

On a related note, I just got into a beer fight at my favorite NYC bar with my friend Dan. It started with me innocently pouring beer into his glass (it was empty), and ended with us both covered in beer (I had beer in my shirt, he had beer all over his crotch... also I think he peed himself, but that's another story altogether), on the floor of Rudy's (#1 dive bar in NYC), with him on top of me, my shoe off, and both of us sticky.

Now I must handwash my clothes and shower. Thank you, Dan, for a wonderful evening.

Are YOU likely to be a serial killer? (link)

Even if I had all of the qualities of a potential serial killer (which I really don't), I think my lack of follow-through would prevent me from ever actually... well, following through.

My favorite quote is: "So in addition to the fact that I'm a stand-up guy who would never do anything to harm her, and that she's the love of my life and I would be a miserable empty shell of a man without her, Andrea should also rest easy knowing that I'd never kill her because there is no way I could survive without her half of the rent."

Vague, yet dramatic, much like myself

My horoscope for today:

The same old attitudes about life aren't cutting it anymore -- seek contrary ideas.