Moving Day

Things that I'll miss:

* Internet access
* Cable TV (Mets game?)
* Critter
* Laundry in Apartment
* Proximity to subway

Yeah, that's it.

Reader of the Week

It's Jess Berline, or as he likes to refer to himself, "Mr. Brocky".

I've known Jess for less than 2 months, but I feel as if we have a bond, a la the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. He is best known for his "Your Mom" jokes, asking me if I am a lesbian, and yelling at me to DRINK and TALK. He has two cats, Peekie and Mattie. And he's single! Oh, wait, no he's not... I forget sometimes.

Jovial
Endearing
Sexy! (I wish there was an M for Man-Candy)
Squash. He plays it. It's a sport of some kind.

Flibbertigibbit. His middle initial is "B", but come on, flibbertigibbit was too good to pass up.

Beer
Easy
Rogue, but not really. I just wanted to use the word.
Lascivious. I'll be honest, I had to look it up, but it's strangely appropriate.
I originally thought his last name was "Brocky," but that was apparently just a huge lie.
Newtonyc.org, which is how I met him but we don't like to tell people that.
Elevated... he's kind of tall... damnit, too many letters.

Horoscope

Put it into words. Whether it's a new business plan, a proposal for a theater production or a declaration of love, you can and should verbalize it today. That might mean writing, that might mean speaking -- heck, it could mean singing. The important thing is that you just don't leave this latest inspiration unsaid. Nobody, after all, can read your mind.

I have no idea what this latest inspiration would be, except maybe DO NOT DRINK TOO MUCH. Especially when you don't take Vitamin B-12 first.

Alice in Wonderland

I just realized that the sealing wax in Alice in Wonderland isn't "ceiling wax."

A Great Night of Drinking

Has the following characteristics:

* Some heated political discussion sprinkled with shoutings of "YES! That's exactly what I meant!"

* An embarassing moment

* Someone drinks too much (but it's not you)

* A little side action

* Some sort of rivalry: drinking game, pool, cards, etc.

* Recognizing an old "friend" while you're both wasted

* Closing a bar

* Singing along to a bar song (preferably bad, preferably Jewel)

Um, read this (link)

Fun times in Madtown.

Flight Home

Tuesday, 9:19 PM:

I hate flying.

Highlights of Madison

* Beating Pete at pool
* Holding my own while drinking with Pete et al
* Seeing many people (of course)
* Getting wasted on the terrace with Carrie at 5 PM on Sunday
* Friday fish fry
* Family dinner-party thrown for me
* Almost getting a DUI
* Harry Potter Porn
* Having my flight delayed both going to Madison and returning to New York
* Conversations that you can only have in the dark at 2 am while drunk (and with many analogies)
* Killing fairies
* CFACT Meeting, and seeing CFACTers
* Having my drink bought by a random guy after telling everyone how New York guys buy drinks for me... and how it's great.
* Glaring at anyone who comes within 30 feet of me as I sit in the deserted Madison airport typing this.

Orayduh Reader of the Week (Month, Year, whatever)

Kristin...

Karing
Regal
Insipid... NO!
Sexy
Titi Monkey (The word that came up when I was trying to figure out how to spell titallating)
Illicit
Not Unfunny


Miss Kristin Rh*in*ck
Oh goodness. A naked girl.
Can't wait 'til you come.

Back to Wisco

I'm heading home for a few days. While home, I hope to:

* Meet up with friends
* Buy another Bucky t-shirt, since I just stained mine
* Get some Wisconsin trinkets for NY people (don't expect anything fancy, I'll probably buy it in the airport on the way back)
* See parents, family, etc.
* Drink. Drink lots. Drink lots cheaply.
* Visit terrace. Say goodbye. Cry.
* Clean my crap out of the office. Oh how I've missed you, SpongeBob mousepad.
* Eat cheesecurds
* FAC! (Although I may be there by myself, but I don't care.)
* Ship my blender to myself. Margaritas? Pina Coladas? Getting caught in the rain? Yes, yes, and stop quoting that song.

Anything else?

No, Jason. No.

Yeah, Old Lady

Old Lady had a t-shirt that said:

"Pretty Please Plinko"

That's going to be me.

Bob's Dark Side

Girl spins wheel: gets nickel.

Girl: "I'm definitely spinning again, Bob."

Wheel lands on $1.00.

Bob (very dryly): "Wow, you went over when you had just one nickel. That's a rare case of very bad luck. I hope the rest of your life goes much better."

Plinko!

I love The Price Is Right. I like everything about it. I like how people make assinine shirts exclaiming their school's love for Bob; I like how Bob has to be 146 years old, and looks the exact same he did 50 years ago; I like how the games are almost impossible to play (we're going to a random country and staying at a random hotel -- how much?!); I like how Bob tells me to get my pets spayed or neutered every single day; I like how the only people who participate on the show are college students or retired people; But most of all, I like Plinko.

Beep beep ... beep beep beep... $0!!


Sidenote: The retail price of an ipod was just $600 ($200 more than I have ever seen an ipod sell for).

It's a scam!

Beep beep beep... ... ... beep ... PLINKO!

Yankees or Mets?

I'm still trying to decide if I'm a Yankees fan or Mets fan... I'm fairly indifferent to the Brewers, so that's out.

I went to a Yankees game with my parents. For the most part it was fun. How can spending an afternoon watching baseball, eating hotdogs, and drinking beer in the sunshine ever not be fun? However, I didn't really feel the Yankees allegiance. I'll have to go to a Mets game to contrast and compare.

Proud

I'm proud of the fact that Dan was telling me a story, neither of us realizing he had already told it to me until we came to the point in the story where he used the term "blown off." We then both remembered that I, like the 12-year-old that I am, had made fun of that, and that he had indeed already told me that story.

New York, or places out of your norm

I think everyone should move to a place completely outside of home when they're in their early 20's. I've only been in NYC for about 6 weeks, but I've learned a lot about who I am, and more importantly, who I am not.

It's tragic to see people who never really figured it out, people who still need to validate their identity by the people who are around them, rather than by what is inside of them.

I admire the people who already knew this in high school. I'd like to think that I was one of those people, but I'm not sure.

I'll probably write more about this when it isn't 4:15 AM, but for now, take these sage words of advice:

Be yourself. If your friends don't like it, they're not your friends. If you're in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable or simply just not "right", follow your instincts and leave. Never, ever do something you don't want to do to gain the "respect" of your peers. Do what feels good, and take pride in it.

In an ideal culture, this would be imparted on young adults before any geometry or ACT tests or other teenage bullshit is brought into the picture.

Pantyhose

I HATE pantyhose, with a passion. I feel like the feminist movement has not actually succeeded if we are still expected to wear it. If given the choice between the right to vote and the right to not wear pantyhose, I'm not quite sure which one I'd choose.

It is itchy, hell to get on, and tears easily. What is the point of it? It's transparent, so it doesn't count as pants (like tights), and is never worn alone... only with things that would be fine when worn sans pantyhose.

It was obviously invented by a man. He was just sitting there one day when he thought of making uncomfortable, hot, transparent pants for women. Apparently he thought to himself "Great idea, Bob!" His [male] friends probably cheered him on and gave him compliments. It may have been the high point of his entire life.

Sad.

It's like snorkeling.

I swear that I can smell water when I take the subway to Brooklyn.

Paris Theatre

The Paris Theatre has finally changed their movie. It had been "Joyeux Noel" since I moved here, but now it is "Belle De Jour."

I think it's time I buy some crappy candy, a diet coke, and head down to 59th.

Rita Rudner

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle.

It wasn't mine.