Feel my muscle. No, feel it.

I joined a gym on Wednesday, for several reasons.

* They are ingenious marketers.  I went to their website (Crunch) and entered to win a free membership.  However, I did not ask to get info on joining.  The next day I get a phone call "Congratulations you have won a free membership!"  It turns out I need to go to the gym to scratch off a card to see how long my free membership is.  This got me thinking, so I went back to their website, and lo and behold (who says lo and behold?!  apparently me.) everyone wins a free membership.  Most of them are for a week, but they can go up to a year.  So, I walk into the gym to "claim my prize" knowing that it is a ruse.  Remember that.

As I'm filling out the requisite mother's-maiden-name, favorite-childhood-toy, best-sexual-position-in-a-bathroom form, Colin approaches me.  He is very chatty, almost forcibly so.  He takes me back to his desk where he tries to get me excited about winning the contest.  I say to Colin, "Colin, I'm on to you.  I know it's a ruse.  I'm smarter than you think I am, so stop talking down to me and get me a Diet Coke," or something similar.  He laughs and says that I should just scratch off my damn card.  I do, and win a free week (which is actually losing, in this ruse-of-a-game).  He decides that this means he should give me a tour.  I agree, but only for reason 2 listed below.

The gym was good. It had gym-type machines, and fit-type people which is pretty much all I expect in a gym. Also it had that wonderful gym smell. It's a clever mix of sweat, cleaning supplies, energy, and hatred. I'd buy it in a glade candle. They also have a boxing ring. If I had a nickel for every time I've felt the need for a boxing ring... um...

So, we end the tour, and we sit down to talk prices. Keep in mind, I still feel smart because I have figured them out. To make a long story short, I have now committed to a one-year membership and 20 personal training sessions. This was, in Pete's words: "an orgy of bad judgment." But like Colin and Rob and every one of their cult-like sales people said, this is an investment in Me. Whatever, I fell for their marketing. I even fell beyond their marketing.

Colin: "You should get 10 personal training sessions."
Rob: "Or 15."
Lindsey: "Okay, I'll get 20. Can I get a t-shirt too?"

My personal trainer's name is Richard. His chest is quite wide and he is very tall. When he found out he was my trainer he looked me up and down and got an evil smile on his face, like he was envisioning the pain he was going to put me through. I believe that he is a sadist.

Now what was I talking about? Oh yeah, reasons my gym rocks.

* Chris Meloni goes to my gym. He does. My roommate saw him there. This may be the motivation I need to work out.

* http://www.crunch.com/downloads/index.asp Check out the commercials on the bottom. (Sidenote-how do I do the hyperlink thing?)

* The walls are crazy colors, like purple and red. It's like the 80's, but with more sweat. (I know, how could there be more sweat than the 80's?! There just is, my friend. There just is.)

* I am signed up for a full year, so I need to feel that it's awesome to justify my money-spending. Yay for self-delusion.