I believe that I, and my friends, are intrinsically better than other people. I understand that you probably already agree with me since you are reading my blog, but let me go through my evidence anyway.
These are some of the attributes I love about my friends, and also try to emulate.
My friends:
* will take a good pub over a danceclub or a lounge any day of the week. I want a place where I can get a pitcher (and the occasional good cosmopolitan), have a conversation, and listen to music.
* understand that "good" music is based mostly on feelings and experiences associated with songs. Also, anything you can drunkenly sing along to is good music.
* are able to talk after years of being apart as if we have lunch together every day.
* laugh at not only ourselves, but others. Nothing is so serious that we cannot laugh at it. However, we also understand that we cannot make most of our jokes in public.
* don't judge each other based on superficial, non-defining-as-a-person events. You made out with an engaged guy you just met on a stoop? Great! You snorted coke off of a key from a stranger in a public restroom? Fabulous!
* do not choose our clothes or belongings based on what is popular. In fact, when we like something that then becomes popular, we actually like it a little less.
* have a vice. Whether it's alcohol, food, drugs, reading hoaky self-help books while drinking phenomenal amounts of diet coke... it's all good.
* will laugh out loud in public, even when by ourselves.
* are never ashamed of being ourselves, even when it means crying, drunk-dialing, or otherwise violating societal norms.
* are brutally honest. Yes, that shirt does make you look fat, but the haagen-dazs doesn't help either.
* are there for each other. Cat died? Boyfriend left? Girlfriend is dumb? TV is kind of staticky? Call me.
* will tell each other when we're repeating a story. Unless the person telling it is really excited about the story, then we'll just nod and smile.
* are not afraid to be the annoying ones. Playing a 1980's version of trivial pursuit during finals week in the quiet room of the university cafe? Excellent. The answer is East Berlin, by the way.
* are random. M: "Do you ever think that you're talking, and no one is really listening?" L: "... my boobs look really big in this top... what were you saying?"
* know that we're funny. Even when other people disagree, we shake our heads and wonder what's wrong with them.
* are not completely sane. We might be manic, or depressed, or bipolar, or just be a little out of it. But, we know that it just makes life more interesting, which is good.
* are unique, despite having most of these things in common.
I am picky with friends. I believe there are several criteria that have to be fulfilled before someone is a "friend" and not just an acquaintance. A friendship of convenience is an oxymoron.
Friends must:
* know each other for at least a year. If it's less than a year, you can't know for sure.
* step up to at least one challenge. Being a friend is a privilege, not a right, and it must be earned.
* be able to be quiet with each other.
* be comfortable with each other. The more comfortable you are, the better. (Although, there are limits... Pete... I don't care if you are genetically flatulent, and Megan... knock louder next time you're early to meet me)
* have seen each other at a not-so-great point. Passed out on the toilet? Crying over a not-worth-it significant other? Falling on your ass? Actually admitting that you watch American Idol? All of these work.
* have at least one inside joke that will always be funny. Some great ones: *It's just Jews... *PIckle-palooza *Nu-unh, he gets the sperm *Life is like a cup of tea, it's all you know how to make.
* experience a "first" together. It must be a first for both of you. The bigger the experience, the better. Highlights from my list of firsts: haunted houses, the Antigo historical museum, gay-pride festival, gay bar, and several illegal activites I won't list here.
* be willing to share chapstick, soda, food, whatever. Random, yes, but still true.
* take your side in a fight. Yes it sounds a little 5th-grade, but it's even more important now.
* be willing to read your insanely long blog entries written at 2:30 AM and comment on them, telling you much how they love them and you, and that they're going to come visit you in New York City. Unless they live in New York City, in which case they are going to buy you a beer.
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3 comments:
I love you.
i was going to say i was a good friend for actually reading all that. then i guess you had to top it off at the end. i like being your friend, linds dear. you're my connection to the white people world. and for that, i sincerely thank you.
Next stop, expedia.com. or orbitz...but I like the expedia commercials better.
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