Friday, July 21, 2006

Religion

Religion is a tricky subject. My class was talking about how to address the "intelligent design" issue during our unit on evolution. I couldn't even participate in the discussion because I was so confused. How to address it? How do we address the tooth fairy and her role in the ecosystem? Where do we place unicorns on the evolutionary spectrum? We don't! It's make-believe! We teach science, which is real. Bah.

However, if I did have a relgion, it would be based on The Price is Right.

Lessons:
1. Even if you're lucky enough to make it on stage, you could still walk away with nothing.

2. Chance is crucial, but you increase your chances by wearing a homemade t-shirt with a message about Bob [God] on it.

3. Life is precious, but too much life is bad. Have your pets spayed or neutered.

4. Even if you try to beat the system by studying prices, you'll probably just get "Plinko" anyways, so don't even try to figure it all out.

5. If you bid $700, the bitch next to you will inevitably bid $701 and win.

6. Old people and college students know it all. The rest of us are out working when we should be having fun.

7. Sometimes the right person gets what they deserve. The cutest old woman won over $45,000 in prizes today - including 2 cars.

8. You can listen to your friends and family. But remember -- in the end, you're all alone on that stage.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ooooooh. Sign me up. Does this make you like the Jesus of The Price is Right?

Anonymous said...

If humans were intelligently designed, we wouldn't get hiccups or appendicitis.

I really think Bob is immortal.

Everyone who lets their animals go outside without spaying/neutering should be sterilized.

Word verifications are the bane of my slightly aphasic existence.