The Bomb Shelter

I miss conversations. I don't mean conversations like "Hi, how are you?" "Good, you?"... I have those. I mean the type of deep conversations you can really only have when you're drunk. Or in high school. Now all the kids do is drugs and sex... but since I wasn't that popular in high school, I came to love a good convo.

In the interest of revitalizing this old tradition, I have a question that you should ask your friends:

It's the year 2008. We are once again at war - it's not important who we're at war with, but I like to make countries up, just to see if my friends are as smart as I hope they are. Try using Boobonia. If they ask where it is, just tell them it's in Latin America. If they still question it, just say it formed at the end of the Cold War.

Back to the question. So, we're at war. And the US is about to be bombed by Boobonians. You are responsible for saving 10 people in a bomb shelter. These 10 people will be responsible for re-creating society after the dust has cleared. Now, let the games begin. (Note: You can also pretend that you and your friends will be in the shelter and will be saved, but that turns the conversation into one about who we'd want to have sex with for the rest of eternity instead of what the necessary components of a society are. Whatever, both are fun.)

I got this idea from a teacher activity where you were given a list of people. Inevitably each person had at least one good quality and one bad quality. For example, Jimmy was only 8, but he had some minor health problems. Betty was a mother of 7, but she was on welfare. Or Bob, who was a neurosurgeon, genius, and dabbled in construction but was gay (oh my god!). Anyways, you had to narrow it down and decide who would live and who would die.

Here's my list:

1. Me. Duh, we'll need blogs in the future, and what if the world floods with Diet Coke? You'd need me.

2. Kristin. (I'll choose to ignore the fact that anyone stuck in a world with Kristin AND me would soon kill themselves. Oh well, more post-nuclear-holocaust Diet Coke for us.)

3. Steve Jobs. I love Macs, and I think he'd jump at the chance to live in a world where he didn't have to accommodate PCs.

4. Kathy Griffin. She's funny enough to keep us laughing in the face of mass death, and something tells me she'd be useful with a hammer.

5. John Krasinski - aka Jim, from The Office. Umm.... I want Jim - I mean John - because he's smart... and um, he's... intelligent... I'm afraid we won't have any room for his clothes though... shame...

6. Jon Stewart - Let's face it, this list isn't exactly THE most intelligent people in the world, and we need someone who knows what to do. Also, Jon is short, so I feel that I could take him in one-on-one combat. And he's not bad looking...

7. Howard Schulz. He created Starbucks. Mmm... frappuccino...

8. Pauly Shore. Son in Law. Bio-Dome. Jury Duty. In the Army Now. What more could you ask for?

9. Al Gore. Al can recreate the Internet. We'll let him run for president against Jon (or John), and then laugh as he loses with only one vote. Also if we run out of food, we'll have someone to eat. Other than me.

10. Paris Hilton. There's always at least one outcast that everyone makes fun of. Since I don't want it to be me, I thought I'd put Paris in. We need to have someone Kathy, Kristin, and I can make catty remarks about.


This list would also make for an excellent reality tv show. Any television networks reading this should feel free to contact me with offers.