Officer Orayduh (link)

Usually I push for public tasering, but making a citizen's arrest might do. There are just a few things that people should be reprimanded for doing. Here's my list:

1. Whistling. I know it's not really illegal, but it should be. I hate it. If I was president (or dictator, whatever), I would make whistling the number one offense. Punishable by being forced to listen to a high pitched whistle-like squeal for the rest of your life.

2. Littering. It's New York City, there is a garbage can on every damn corner. Do you not connect the gross garbage on the street with your laziness?

3. Not being able to walk. I don't mean the disabled, I mean the people who go to Times Square on a Friday afternoon and walk five across holding hands. If you're not from NYC, let me explain. The sidewalk is usually busier and more important than the street. If one group of people decides to take the whole sidewalk up, walk slowly, stop randomly, etc. it screws everything up.

4. Guys who seem super-interested, take your number, and then don't call. Come on now.

5. People who cut in line.

6. Guys who hit on women by shouting "oooh Mamacita!!" or just make smooching noises. Or guys who jingle their keys and expect women to just trot right over.

7. People who pull forward at the intersection so they block the entire crosswalk.

8. People who say "You know, I'd vote for George W. again..." Wait, this isn't a political blog. Nevermind.